hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
