Apparently you make a good broom.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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