wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
