dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dicks are not precious.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
