i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
