well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
