WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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