So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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