lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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