dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize