I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
