Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
