So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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