waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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