Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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