Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
