im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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