I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
