Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
