i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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