Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Still dying that you shit outside
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
