don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
