I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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