A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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