anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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