I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
