dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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