You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
