Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
