Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
