Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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