I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
