so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
