i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
