he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize