Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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