I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
