I just pynch a tree in the face
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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