I wish life had little blips of pornography
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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