we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
