My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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