hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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