i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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