If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
