the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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