Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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