I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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