I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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