That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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