If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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