It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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