I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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