how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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