quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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