Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize