Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just puked most of my soul out..
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