apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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