I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
