I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
