I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
