I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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