what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
