Pants 0. Shit 1.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
