You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
